011. On Food

Inner Vibes 💌 

Journal entry of a girl trying to find flow in the universe 🌍️ 

*Reading about this topic can be triggering for some and I want to preface that I don’t know the answers, I’m merely sharing my thoughts and revelations as well as some high-level guidance from spiritual traditions (which are the types of teachers I tend to lean towards when I’m trying to make sense of something). It’s an ever evolving process of discovery that seems to change from month to month so please enter this space with love, compassion, and non-judgement for the words you’re about to read.*

I’ve always loved food, for as long as I can remember. Food has always been my comfort, my home. The place I would go to when I wanted to feel better. There was something about activating my tastebuds that brought me satisfaction and safety that nothing else ever came close to. It was something I could control. Something that was always there for me, something that I could always rely on.

I would have never classified my eating habits as being an addiction until my husband called it out. It’s true what they say - that being in a partnership can be your best mirror. I remember the first time he called it out and a wall of defensiveness and anger shot up from within me. What was he trying to say? That I was fat? That I was disgusting? I felt like a kettle that was about to boil and scream out. How could he say something like that to me? After doing my best to calm down, I sat with it a bit more and thought about what he was really trying to say. He wasn’t wrong. Food has been the thing I’ve struggled with the most with in my life and after living with me, he saw firsthand what I was going through on a daily basis and, with loving compassion, he shined a light on a part of me that I was in complete denial about.

As I brought awareness to it I realized that I probably think about food 80% of my day. Even while I was eating, I was thinking about the next meal I was going to have. It had such a tight grip on me. I started to notice that whenever there was a lull or gap in my thinking, it was an automatic thing my brain went to - food. Where’s the food? What are you going to eat next? I was avoiding silence and stillness by filling it with an action that would numb me and stop me from going deeper. It was a misplaced search for connection, relief, or wholeness. The “object” of addiction - whether food, alcohol, social media, or even over-working - becomes a substitute for something deeper the soul is longing for that it doesn’t know how to find, like love, safety, or authenticity.

The issue wasn’t food, the issue was that I found myself stuck in a pattern, a cycle that had a hold of me. The definition of an addiction is: A condition where a person develops a compulsive relationship with a substance, behavior, or pattern that ultimately causes harm and is difficult to stop despite negative consequences.

And oh boy were there negative consequences.

Apart from the obvious body dysmorphia that many of us grew up with seeing images of a certain body type as being “normal”, my food addiction was directly tied to my body and how I saw myself. I would judge myself, then overeat to try and numb the pain I was feeling. Then because I was over eating, I would gain weight and the whole cycle would start all over again. It caused me to loose self confidence and not be comfortable in my own skin. I remember it was so bad at some point that I would dress in baggy clothes, never showing any outline of my body, skip outings like going to the beach or being in summer clothes, and even avoid big occasions because I was worried about what others would think of my body. I once missed my best friends baby shower because it felt like no matter what I wore, I wouldn’t be pretty enough. I made up some lie. Some stupid lie that didn’t even make sense. But still, the eating wouldn’t stop. It felt like I was stuck on a hamster wheel that I couldn’t get off of. The thing that pains me the most, is what I missed out on in life. The countless memories that I chose not to experience because of the deep shame I felt.

I remember when I was in the throws of my depression, I would binge eat until I couldn’t move. Literally putting myself into a lethargic state. This had gone on for years. I have been on this rollercoaster ride for over 15 years and it took my husband calling it an addiction for me to see it for what it really was. Not only was I addicted to eating, but I was addicted to the negative thoughts about myself. Trapped, in a cycle of my own creation.

🌿 Eastern Traditions

Buddhism – The Buddha taught the Middle Way—avoiding both indulgence and extreme deprivation. Monastics practiced eating only before noon, both for health and as a discipline against craving. Mindful eating became a way to observe how desire arises and to loosen its hold.

Hinduism / Yoga – The yogic principle of mitahara (measured eating) emphasizes moderation as key to clarity and spiritual practice. The Bhagavad Gītā advises that a yogi neither overeats nor undereats, but finds balance. Food is approached as sacred nourishment, not as a source of attachment.

🌙 Islam

Islamic teachings emphasize wasatiyyah—the path of balance and moderation. The Qur’an advises: “Eat and drink, but do not be excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess” (7:31). Ramadan fasting is a spiritual discipline that weakens the hold of desires, deepens compassion for the hungry, and reminds believers that self-control is a form of devotion.

🌎 Indigenous Wisdom

Many Indigenous cultures treat food as medicine and as a gift from the earth. Moderation is rooted in reciprocity: take only what you need, give thanks, and honor the balance of the ecosystem. Overconsumption is seen not only as harmful to the individual, but also as disrespectful to the community and to nature itself. For example, in many Native American traditions, feasts are balanced with fasting to maintain harmony between people and the land.

✨ Across these diverse traditions, a common thread emerges: moderation is freedom. By loosening the grip of appetite and excess, we return to balance—within ourselves, with others, and with the world around us.

Contemplations:

🧿 Have you noticed anything in your life - habits, thoughts, or relationships - that keeps you circling back and holding you in a place?
🧿 Where do you seek comfort or escape that ends up leaving you emptier than before?
🧿 What might it feel like to step out of one old pattern and feel the spaciousness that waits beyond it?

Wanderlust Gems 🏞️

Inspiring humans, art, history, nature, adventures and new discoveries 🚀 

This newsletter has been a difficult/heavy topic for me to write about and because of that, I’m going to skip speaking about Montana (our next stop in the journey). Montana was one of my favorite places in the U.S. and I’d like to leave it for the next newsletter so I can give it it’s proper space for reflection.

High Resonance ✨ 

A song, podcast, author, movie, or book to keep you feeling those good vibes ✌️